stressed
Written on: Saturday, June 21, 2014
Time: 7:23 AM

im back again.

everytime i feel down and wanted to release my feeling, blog will be the best place for me. this blog, even though not private, non of my friends knew it's existed.

finally the day when i have received my letter to join the force, i was very happy when i was given a chance to do so. little i know that the it would brought me alot stress. After months of interview and medical check up, i was finally accepted by them. one time, there a problem which the signing of my contract which required another new person to be there, i was very nervous that i could not be able to become a officer. but eveyrthing went smoothly.

i was very excited when i was finally going into the camp for training, but little did i know the stress i'm going to face. the first week was fine, even though i missed home alot and get to book out on the weekend. btu when the instructor told me that i was suppose to pass my physical test within a certain period of time, i feel very stressed.

stress about the physical test i'm about to face, i knew my own body condition. everybody in my bunk say we could pass out together if we put in effort, i wanted to, i knew my body. i felt depress from time to time, what if i did not pass, what will my family and friends think of me. this mental stress make me felt weak and there was only my family and friends, sending encouraging text to me to hold on and be strong, but it was never enough, i always wanted the person that i like encourage me and give me strength to stay on.

my friend once told me to be in a religion before going into the force because it will give you the moral and mental strength that i need, i didn't believe it at first, but now i do. i felt really low when i'm in camp, complained to my squad mates that i hate the life in there, i felt controlled, suffocated. but all i need its just some encouraging text from her. nothing more. i dreamt of her almost every night, where we go out together, sight seeing or just some dinner. i was very happy already, but i knew i was dreamland.

life inside camp wasn't tough but it wasn't easy also. dealing with the physical demand from my instructor and coping with my own stress wasn't easy. but that what every singaporean guys will need to go through. i'm not afraid to fail, but i just dont want my time and money to be wasted if i'm going to fail the thing.

i just hope, someone could give me the strength to carry on. even though it's only the ending of 2nd week. i'm tired and shag, both physically and mentally.

i miss you girl. even though you're not in singapore.