Gone
Written on: Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Time: 12:51 AM

I guess so.
I should accept the fact that nothing really last forever.
Even though it's been a month since we last talked.
I've been living in a dream, a dream that i though it was fiction.
A dream that i though when i wake up, she's back with me.
But it just all lies, just trying to fool myself.

Sitting back and think.
What did it goes wrong?
Did i really didn't care too much or did i care too much?

Been going school almost every week, and having events meeting really stop me from thinking her.
Edmund right, even when i'm busy doing my own stuffs, i would randomly think of her.

Flashback and memories.
Thinking back days that we were happy together,
Teasing each other,
Chasing each other,
Sending sweet text to each other.
Those days were really very happy.

Things do goes wrong somehow.
But somehow, i was expecting her to stay with me.
Because i knew it was a test for our love.
But we failed.
She gave up.

I didn't want to go pass the whole process of chasing her back.
i guess it was a phobia that my first ex girlfriend gave me.
People say "Why do you look alright?"
I replied "I dunno" with a smile.

I knew how much bullshit i gave to my friends, such as my poly friends.
But they didn't gave up on me.
I was grateful to them,
therefore i promised myself even if i was to have another heartbreak,
i gotta to stay strong.

People would think, "You're still in love with her, why aint you trying to get her back?"
Somehow, i just can't believe the things she said to me.
I want her back, no matter what she did.
Everyday i pray that she will call me, and talk things out.
Everyday when my phone vibrate, i was hoping that it was her message to me.
Everyday i promised myself, to stay strong, to smile, to be happy cause that what life is all about.

But guess what?
I broke down when i saw her.
She saw me, our eyes matches, she was about few metre away from me.
I wanted to talk, but i was scared.
And she turned away.
I guess i'm still mad at her, but if you knew me well enough, i wouldn't stay mad forever.
My heart sank when the second time i saw her, and i just gotta walk away.

I really can't pull out this love.

I stumped into her facebook page an hour ago, and i saw her new profile picture.
I didn't knew the guy with her was, but i could say i could still feel the pain.
I miss you.