要学会拿的起，放的下
Written on: Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Time: 2:02 AM

How funny when i listen to some songs, memories start to come back.
I've been asking myself, what if i am still fighting for her?
I can't stay hanging anymore.

Will it be a different ending?

Somehow, i guess everything is fated.
Fate brought us together, fate separate us apart.

Still fresh in my mind.
During preFMO, i didn't chose finale.
I chose Admin, Proposal, Publication.
But i got into finale.

I guess fate just love to play with me.
I didn't really talk to her much as i only see her only like for few hours.
actually not much to anybody as i dont really know anyone of them.

How surprising when i come back from my show, she sat beside me.
Being an irritating guy, i rmbr disturbing her like nobody business.
In fact, i disturb everyone of them in the finale room.
But somehow, i feel quite comfortable when i'm with her, didn't think much though.
As day goes pass, we get more closer to each other, playing a fool, acting a skit together, laugh together and many more.
We spend more than 1 month together, meeting each other everyday.
Meeting her for movies, having most of the time together.
Many fun memories, esp when she chased me around the level 6 corridor and her shoe fell off.

Still remember going for a movie : " Hunger Games".
I didn't wanted to go, because my ex was there.
But somehow they manage to ask me go, and i saw they bought two seating without joining the other planner, so i ask them for the two tickets and sat with her.
While watching the movie, i held her hand.
I didn't know why, but this strange feeling, that tell me, not to let go of her hand.
My heart never felt so warm again.
Then i realized, i started to like her.

Even though many people said that we will be together, i didn't believe.
Partially is that i still have some feeling for my ex, and i'm afraid of going into another relationship.
I can't handle another heartbreak, i can't handle another breakdown.
I really cant.
I can laugh, i can joke, i can make a fool out of myself just to make you laugh, but i cant handle another break down.
I been through a heartbreak, it was hell.
It took me 7 months to truely have the courage to move on from just one month plus relationship.
that why i plan for the future, i plan for my relationship, because i wanted to last.
"Nothing last forever" 

 Moving on isn't a simple task to do.
I tried.
I fell down, i tried again.
People say you just only have one relationship and you feel like dying already, what if in the future.
Yeah, i though about it too.
What happen in the future? Am i not gonna date another girl? Am i not gonna love somebody again?

I build my courage, asking her going to dates, watching movies with her, sending her home, talk to her on phone to gain more courage.
Courage to love again.
It took me really a lot of courage to love again.

But i guess,i don't know if i have the courage again.
Numb,But gotta stay strong.